I like to think of it as
A king in a bed who
Never wakes up. A kiss
Good-night and then that is
All… slipping away in
The dead of night. A
King, once. Or
The lone splash of lines falling
Into cold mountain water that
Came from a frozen pond by
A mill that ground stone from
An old mine with loose, lean
Floor boards. So much
Time and memories of trains
On tracks that creep across
Mountain-sides that we cannot
Take anymore. Just the sound
Of birds in bushes and the
Soft rustling off of little pale
Forms that whisper of
Time in bottles that we float
Silently downstream.
What excellent line breaks. I very much like your poetry.
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I really like the images you draw, that really sings of the west. The abandoned mine, the mountain and its streams… a poem in a poem almost.
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Gorgeous, gorgeous, gorgeous!! ❤️
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“….whisper of
Time in bottles that we float
Silently downstream.”……most beautiful….
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Such fine work. Your phrasing is admirable, and the way the whole image unfolds as one reads down the page is brilliant.
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A poem found beneath a tree, this is very lovely, I found myself thinking of the underground streams that supply water and nutrients in the journey of fulfillment.
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I like the immaginative imagery captured in your poem.
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I enjoyed the dreamy reflective voice in this poem. I drifted a bit downstream through your lines.
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This is just stunning–beautiful writing!
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The train on tracks … that we can not take anymore. My favorite …bkm
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I enjoyed the way this poem ‘flows.’
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I like the time in a bottle idea!
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Time in bottles that we float
Silently downstream.
…fabulous images woven together with elegance.
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Timeless images cascading towards an eloquent, evocative – BEAUTIFUL – ending. Wonderful writing!
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How easy it was for the reader to put himself into the poem and experience it all in his mind. I really enjoyed it.
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Such a lovely fantasy!
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